Ninjago: The Abridged Series
by Lloyd Garmaderp
Summary: Okay, so this is my first story on here. It's just a parody of Ninjago, of sorts. Hopefully it's funny? I thought it was. Please review and give me constructive criticism...
1. Pilot 1- Part 1

Ninjago the Abridged Series  
Pilot Episode 1

—

Kai: DAMN IT! Why can't I even make one lousy sword!

Nya: Because, unlike dad, you fail.

Kai: Shut up.

Sensei Wu: So this dumbass is the red one? Oh, Ninjago is so screwed. *walks into the store where Kai and Nya are arguing* Hello.

Nya: Oh look, a customer. Hi.

Kai: Hey, whatcha looking for?

Wu: I am looking for you.

Kai: So you're a creepy old pervert stalker. Great.

Wu: No. You are the destined magical gi— erm, ninja of fire.

Kai: Hahaha, good joke, old man.

Wu: I'm not old! I'm only 325 years old! Now shut up and come with me!

Kai: No. Go away.

Sensei: Fine. You'll regret this.

**A few moments later**

Samukai: GET THE PRETTY ONE!

Krunkcha: OKAY! *gets Nya*

Samukai: I said the PRETTY ONE, you idiot! Not the dumb girl! Whatever LET'S GO!

Kai: NOOOO! NYAAAAA!

Sensei Wu: You must come with me if you want to save her.

Kai: Ok, FINE.

**LATER…**

Sensei: Now finish this training course before I finish my tea. *drinks tea* FAIL.

Kai: WTF?! I didn't even start!

**AFTER KAI FINALLY FINISHES THE COURSE…**

Kai: I'm gonna be the best Ninja ever! HYAH!

*3 ninjas in black enter*

Ninja 1: HEY!

Kai: AAAAHH! *shoves his vibrating toothbrush down Ninja 1's pants*

Ninja 1: Oh THAT FEELS REALLY WEIRD! Get it OUT!

Kai: *flees* SENSEI HELP!

*The 3 black ninjas attack Kai*

Sensei Wu: STOP, YOU DUMBASSES!

3 Ninjas: Yes, sensei.

Kai: They're your students too?!

Ninja 1: HE'S YOUR STUDENT TOO?!

Sensei Wu: Shut up. NINJAAAGO! *Spinjitzu's them*

Ninja 1: FUCK YEAH I'M BLUE!

Ninja 3: Why the fuck am I still black?

Sensei Wu: The four of you must save Ninjago. Kai, you're the red ninja of fire. Jay, blue ninja of lightning. Zane, white ninja of ice. And Cole, black ninja of earth.

Cole: Don't worry, *grabs Kai's butt* I got your back.

Kai: THAT'S MY BUTT, NOT MY BACK!

Cole: I know. *rape face*

Jay: Hi I'm Jay what's your name are you single what do you like to do you look cool I like your hair can I touch it we should be friends oh my gosh I—

Cole: Jay, SHUT UP.

Kai: Does he always talk this much?

Cole: Unless we duct tape his mouth shut, yes.

Jay: Hey I do not talk that much I mean I do talk a lot but not that much I mean really I don't why do you guys say I talk too much cause I don't like I totally don't I—

Kai: *puts his hand over Jay's mouth* You seriously need to shut up. Screw this I'm gonna go look for Nya.

Jay: Nya?! That's a girl's name! Is she your sister? Is she hot? Is she single? Is she—

Kai: Shut up! Yes, she's my sister, and yes she's single! Argh!

Sensei: We must go to the Caves of Depression to find the first Golden Weapon.

Kai: Fuck. Whatever, fine.


	2. Pilot- Part 2

A/N: Well, here it is, Chapter 2! I hope you all enjoy it.

To the reviewers:

TheComingofEpic: Thanks! :) Your Ninjago Bloopers inspired me a lot.

EpicNinjaMaster: Thanks a lot, I plan to go all the way through the whole series!

* * *

***Announcer voice* Previously on Ninjago: The Abridged Series...**

Nya was kidnapped! The Ninja found out their colors and Sensei Wu told them they had to go to the Caves of Depression to find the first of four Golden Weapons.

* * *

Cole: So how are we going to get past these skeletons? Wait, where the fuck did Kai go?

Jay: He's over there should we follow him should we do something oh gosh what if he gets caught what if something happens what should we do oh my gosh!

Cole: Shut up. Seriously, ninjas are supposed to be quiet. Which you fail at. Let's follow Kai.

*The 3 of them follow Kai*

Cole: Dumbass. *slaps Kai*

Kai: Ow!

Zane: Shut up and let's get that map. *grabs the map with his shurikens* The Scythe of Emo should be this way.

Kai: ME FIRST! *runs into the cave*

Cole: IDIOT! There is NO WAY you can move that rock alone!

*All 4 of them push it out of the way*

Jay: WOW, the Scythe of Emo is so COOL!

Echo: COOL! COOL! COOL!

Cole: *in an angry whisper* Shut up, idiot!

Jay: Sorry.

Kai: *grabs the Scythe of Emo* Let's go.

Samukai: NOT SO FAST, NINJA!

Cole: SHIT!

Kai: Let's fight these guys!

Jay: HEY LOOK I CAN DO SPINTWISTYU!

Kai: SpinJITZU BUT WHATEVER HOW?!

Jay: IT'S JUST LIKE THE TRAINING COURSE!

Zane: *does Spinjitzu* Bitch, please.

Samukai: RETREAAAAT!

Cole: FUCK IS THAT A DRAGON?!

Dragon: RAWR.

Cole: *screams like a girl and hides behind Kai* PROTECT ME!

Kai: Baby. Let's Spinjitzu out of here! *uses Scythe to create an exit*

Wu: YOU IDIOTS USED THE SCYTHE!

Kai: Oopsy-daisy.

Wu: *bitch-slaps Kai* YOU DUMB ASS.

Jay: On to the next weapon! YAY!

* * *

**After they get all four weapons...**

Cole: Whoohoo! *playing Gangnam Style*

*Kai and Jay: dancing to Gangnam Style*

Jay: OP-OP-OP-OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE!

Kai: You should dance too, Sensei!

Sensei Wu: You kids are strange.

* * *

Garmadon/Nya: KAI! *throws a rock at Kai's head*

Kai: OW. Nya?

Garmadon/Nya: See you later, dumbass.

Kai: NYA WAIT! *follows her*

Garmadon/Nya: Hello, it is I.

Kai: Who?

Garmadon: You know who.

Kai: Lord Voldemort?

Garmadon: NO! Lord Garmadon!

Kai: Oh. I see.

Garmadon: Now pull this sword out of the stone.

Kai: To see if I'm the true king?

Garmadon: NO, to save your sister!

*Nya is suspended over lava by chains*

Kai: NYA!

Nya: KAI! HELP! MY MASCARA IS MELTING IN THIS HEAT!

Kai: FUCK! *grabs the sword and cuts Nya free*

Nya: Thanks.

Kai: Whatever. FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN, GARMADON!

Garmadon: LOL NO, I'm just gonna make your shadow kill you.

Wu: *makes shadow kill the Shadow Kais* HELLO, BROTHER.

Garmadon: OH SHIT.

Kai: SENSEI?!

Wu: *takes the sword* Bye, bitches. Wu out. *goes to the Underworld*

* * *

*in the camp, the other 3 ninja are tied together back-to-back*

Jay: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BUTT!

Cole: LOL NOPE.

Jay: *cuts them free* COLE YOU ARE A PERV.

Cole: AND YOU TALK TOO MUCH, NOW LET'S GO GET THOSE GOLDEN WEAPONS BACK FROM THOSE BONY IDIOTS.

*the 3 ninja follow the Skeletons, but fail to stop them.*

Jay: FAIL.

Cole: Oh, shut up. *holds up duct tape*

Jay: Okay.

* * *

**Next time, we finish the Pilot Episodes! Then I'll do one full episode per chapter from Episode 1 all the way until the final episode. Reviewers get hugs! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ**


	3. Pilot- End (And Actual Series Bloopers)

Huge thanks to all the reviewers! Here's Chapter 3, and I am trying to update this daily!

* * *

Last time, our heroes found the Golden Weapons. However, the skeletons stole them! Kai is still at the Fire Temple, and the other 3 failed to catch the skeletons.

Cole is a perv?

Jay talks too much.

Kai is a retarded, reckless jerk.

Zane is the only one with any sense.

* * *

*The 3 ninja arrive at the fire temple*

Cole: Where the fuck is Kai?

Kai: RIGHT HERE. *the temple opens and reveals Kai and Nya riding the fire dragon*

Fire Dragon: RAWR.

Kai: Bitch, I'm on a dragon.

Cole: *screams and hides behind Zane* NOOO! *takes the opportunity to feel Zane's butt*

Zane: Cole, please get the FUCK out of behind me and don't ever touch my butt again.

Kai: DRAGONS FOR ALL!

*The other 3 dragons fly down from the sky and the other 3 ninja get on... wait, no, Cole is now hiding from the dragons behind a pillar*

Cole: GET THE AWAAAAAYYY...

Zane: *grabs Cole and throws him onto the earth dragon* STAY. Or I'll tie you onto the thing.

*Okay. NOW they're all on the dragons. So they fly into the Underworld, yadada you know this scene*

Jay: We made it to the Underworld!

Kai: So where is Hades then?

Cole: Wrong Underworld, dumbass.

Jay: Let's climb these stalactites to sneak in!

Cole: Okay.

Jay: FUCK I'M HOLDING A SPIDER!

Kai: SHIT I AM TOO!

*They all fall*

Krunkcha: NINJASES!

Nuckal: Dummy, it's just ninja! Wait... NINJA?!

Kai: Okay whatever, guess we have to fight now.

Cole: But there's skeletons AND spiders!

Jay: Tornado of creation?

Kai: Fuck yeah.

*After they create a huge Ferris wheel-thing*

Jay: AW YEAH! I LOVE FERRIS WHEELS! I WANNA RIDE!

Kai: No, dumbass!

Jay: Awww... *grabs cotton candy* fine but I get this, then.

Zane: Let's go find Sensei!

*They run off and find Sensei fighting Samukai*

Samukai: *throws Shurikens and freezes Sensei* HAHA BITCH.

Jay: GO SENSEI GO!

Samukai: *takes the Sword* MUAHAHAHA NOW I WILL RULE THE WORLD!

Garmadon: LOL no.

The God of Ninjago: YOU DARE TOUCH ALL THE GOLDEN WEAPONS AT ONCE?!

*Samukai turns to dust*

Jay: Well, that escalated quickly.

Sensei: FATHER WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED, BROTHER.

Garmadon: Like I give a shit. Later, losers. Garmy out. *disappears through a vortex*

Sensei: He will be back.

Jay: NAH. He's not the Terminator.

Cole: Nice one, Jay.

Jay: I KNOW.

* * *

That was a short chapter, but I'm writing the next episode tomorrow, so for now, have some deleted scenes!

* * *

*Nya in the Fire Temple with Garmadon, they're sitting down and drinking tea*

Nya: So have you seen the Harry Potter movies?

Garmadon: Yes, I own all of them.

Nya: So do we. Who's your favorite character?

Garmadon: Voldemort and the Malfoys.

Nya: I like Hermione. So what other movies have you seen?

Garmadon: Pretty much every movie there is. There's not much to do in the Underworld.

Nya: Oh, that does sound boring. So, have you read any good books lately?

* * *

And some 'bloopers' of the series... by which I mean the ninja goofing off during the filming of the episodes.

* * *

*Episode 10*

Cole: OH KAI, YOU LOOK SO SEXY IN THAT GREEN NINJA SUIT. Hahhh... sorry, I know that's not my line.

Kai: Wait, whaaat? COLE! Hahahaha...

Director: CUT!

* * *

*Episode 8*

Nya: Jay... I haven't been completely honest either.

Jay: What?

Nya: I... I'm gay! Ahhhh, sorryy... *laughs*

Jay: Wahaaa?

Director: CUT!

* * *

*Episode 12*

Pythor: I have this whole 'Devourer' thing going on. Toodle-oo!

Jay: *bursts into laughter*

Pythor: What is so funny?

Jay: YOU SAID TOODLE-OO?! WHO EVEN SAYS THAT ANYMORE?

Pythor: I ought to slap you.


End file.
